Impact
by GabrieltheTrickster
Summary: A tragic accident leaves holes that will never be filled and wounds that will never heal. Or will they? *Awareness Story* *Rated M for accident & graphic detail* *TRIGGER WARNINGS*
1. Tragedy Hits

**A/N: I told you I'd do more updates. Anyways, I have this little story because of what happened in school. Today we had an assembly about the dangers of teenage reckless driving by an organization called IMPACT. Our speaker told us her story about how both of her kids died in a reckless driving accident and I cried the whole time. So, please, drive safely. I don't care how old you are, but drive carefully because you might end up saving a life. I'll put the link at the bottom if you want to see the organization and what they do.**

**Warning: Character death, angst, depression/ self-harm. SERIOUS TRIGGER WARNING. Please, if this is going to trigger anything stop reading this. Please.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own BTR.**

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><p>Life in Hollywood wasn't supposed to be this way. It was supposed to be fun and carefree. It was one simple day off from Gustavo at the beach. And that day changed everything<p>

Logan was finally allowed to drive without an adult. He was so excited when he walked through the door of Apartment 2J holding his new California license from the DMV. Kendall, James and Carlos were also excited. Logan having a legitimate license meant they could go out without having Mama Knight drive them.

So, when Gustavo told them they had the day off, they piled into the Big Time Rush mobile and headed straight for the beach in Malibu. They were having the time of their lives because they were finally able to relax without any adults around. As their day drew to a close, they left Malibu with a sunset behind them.

The sun had finally set as they four teens drove back towards Los Angeles on the Pacific Coast Highway. They were only 45 minutes away from the Palmwoods, so none of them were worried by the rapidly darkening sky. The other three were laughing and joking. Meanwhile, Logan was getting nervous as the sky got darker. He had slowed down dramatically and was going under the speed limit. His already pale knuckles were bone white as his grip on the wheel grew tighter.

"Hey. Are you alright Logan? You look kind of tense." Kendall asked, lightly resting a hand on his friend's shoulder.

Logan never turned his head. "Yeah, I'm fine. It's dark, I'm driving without an adult for the first time and you guys won't quiet down. If you would shut up I would relax a little," he said harshly.

Kendall pulled his hand away and shrank back from the hard tone. But he asked James and Carlos to quiet down so Logan could drive. It lasted for all of three minutes before they were all being loud again.

Logan got so upset and frustrated that he spun in his seat and began yelling at them for causing a distraction while he was driving.

He didn't hear Kendall's warnings from the passenger seat. He didn't feel the car drift into the other lane. And by the time he saw the approaching headlights, it was too late.

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><p><strong>AN: And there you go, Chapter One of my newest chapter story, with a cliffy ending. Who will die? Who will live? Will **_**anybody**_** live? This story is gonna be an emotional ride, so buckle up and get ready for the next chapter of IMPACT.**

**The link for the website is: www(dot)mourningparentsact(dot)org. Replace the dots with periods and hit enter. You can also find them on Facebook, Search "Mourning Parents ACT"**


	2. Survivors

**A/N: And here is Chapter 2: Survivors. I want to thank everyone for reading this. I know it's a depressing read, but knowing that people are reading this and I can help spread awareness. Because this affects everyone, whether you know someone who's died or have survived yourself, or even if you just hear about it. **

**Warning: Death, self harm, TRIGGER WARNING for future notice.**

**Disclaimer: Still not owning them… **

Red and blue lights were everywhere. The sky was dark and the only color came from those lights. There was a sharp pain in his left shoulder and he couldn't breathe. He tried to move, but found out he couldn't. He moved his eyes to look at the three other boys in the car. He could vaguely make out their bodies, still strapped in seat belts.

He could vaguely make out the voices of emergency workers. He heard "We have to flip the car!" and then he realized they were flipped upside down. All the windows were missing and they were all being held in place by their seatbelts.

The teen breathed a sigh of relief that they were all wearing seatbelts. If they hadn't…. He shuddered violently before screaming in pain. He heard a sudden flurry of movement around the car and heard people screaming about them being alive. It took him a minute to remember what had happened. Logan screaming. The truck that was coming towards them. The sudden rush of darkness as he blacked out.

All of a sudden, he heard a loud _crunch _and was blinded by a flashlight. He squinted against the light in his eyes and he heard the person above him scream for a medic. The person leaned over him. "You're going to be fine, son. Can you hear me? What's your name?"

The medic was asking more questions than the teen could answer. "I'm Kendall. Kendall Knight. You have to save my brothers, please!"

Kendall began to panic. He couldn't lose his brothers. Not now. They had been through too much for him to lose any of them. He began struggling against the now annoying seatbelt.

The paramedic placed a firm hand on his chest. "Relax, son. We're going to get you out then get your brothers. How many more are there in the car?"

Kendall looked at the man with scared eyes. "Th..three. James, the taller one, Logan the driver and then Carlos the Hispanic one. Don't let them die."

The man just nodded and moved for the EMT who had arrived with a stretcher. "What hurts, son?"

Kendall looked at the man who had asked the question. "Mostly my left shoulder. And I can't move my neck or body. Will I be paralyzed?"

The EMT looked at Kendall and smiled. "You should be fine. I can see from here that glass from the windshield is embedded in your shoulder. As for your body, I can't tell you anything for sure. But my best theory is that you slipped a disc in your neck on impact and it's pressing on your spinal cord. Two quick surgeries and you'll be fine."

Kendall nodded and winced as he was lifted from the car and placed onto a stretcher. He was pushed towards a waiting ambulance. He looked at the scene and he nearly vomited. Their car was crumpled like a piece of paper and there was glass all over the highway. The front of the pick-up truck was smashed in and looked like it had been on fire. The truck had slammed head on with the guys and had nearly gone right through the car.

Kendall could see the pool of gasoline between the cars. He looked harder and saw that something darker was mixed in. He followed the darker liquid and saw that it was coming from under their car. He knew right away it was their blood. Seeing the scene mixed with seeing the blood of him and his three brothers on the pavement made Kendall lose it. He vomited all the contents of his stomach right off the gurney, not caring who saw.

When he was finished, he risked another look. And he wished he hadn't. From a minuscule gap between the two cars, they pulled out the driver of the truck. His body was burned and mangled. You could barely tell it was a person. Kendall only watched in silence as they took some blood from him and dropped him in a body bag. Kendall closed his eyes and prayed to every god that ever existed that his friends wouldn't end up in a bag like that.

Kendall suddenly felt something burning hit his skin and he screamed. He looked over at his shoulder and saw that it was foaming like a rabid animal. The EMT held him down.

"It's ok, I swear. I poured an antiseptic on it to clean the blood away so we can see how bad it really is. So, we will be cutting your shirt off, ok?" Kendall bit his lip and nodded. He just wanted the burning to end. As the medics began to cut his shirt off, he heard a scream that sounded like Logan. He turned his head and saw his short friend getting pulled out of the car.

Kendall was heartbroken. Logan's shirt was shredded and his chest was filled with bloody holes from where shards of glass tore through his skin. He was whimpering like a beaten puppy and every sound tore Kendall's heart apart. Soon, Logan was next to him, crying out as the EMTs began to pull pieces of glass from his torso. Kendall wanted to hold Logan and tell him everything was going to be ok. But he wasn't sure if it was.

"Logan, they're gonna be ok. They have to be, right?" Kendall asked the spiky-haired teen. Logan turned his face towards the blond and looked into his emerald eyes. "I really hope so, Kendall. I don't know how I could live if they were dead." Kendall could see the pain and truth behind those brown eyes of his. He smiled meagerly. "They're going to be ok. I'm not going to let them die."

Kendall's words seemed to calm the brunet and Logan visibly relaxed his muscles. "How do you feel, Kendall? You don't look as bad as I do." Logan said, wincing as more glass was pulled out. Kendall frowned.

"My shoulder is pretty mangled. It's full of glass and they say I need surgery to fix it. And I need neck surgery because I slipped a disc in my neck and I'm now paralyzed. But I'm fine otherwise," he said dully. Logan's face grew worried again.

"You're going to be fine, I swear. If I have to do the surgery myself, you're not going to be paralyzed." Logan said, starting to hyperventilate. Kendall looked at him. "Relax. Besides, I don't matter right now. The only people that matter right now are James and Carlos because they're still smashed under the car."

Something in the blond boy's words clicked in Logan's head and he fell silent. He reached over and took Kendall's hand in his and squeezed it slightly. The only sounds that he made were small cries of pain from the glass. Around them, lights flashed and traffic was redirected by police officers shouting loudly at each other. Every now and then, a radio would crackle with codes or a news helicopter would fly over, broadcasting the scene to all of Los Angeles. And through it all, the two extracted teens lay still on their gurneys, watching the scene in front of them. They knew it could take hours to free James and Carlos, but they weren't going anywhere without them. Dead or alive, they had to see their friends get out of the car.

**A/N: Logan and Kendall are ALIVE! But Logan looks like he was stabbed with tiny pellets and Kendall can't even move. What will happen to our survivors? Will we have any more survivors, or has BTR been split in half? Find out in Chapter 3: Waiting.**


	3. Waiting

**A/N: And you get Chapter 3: Waiting. And speaking of waiting, I'm super sorry for making all of you wait so long for this chapter. I've been grounded, so I couldn't really write. I'm still grounded, but IM doing music rescue so its taking an hour. So, I will try and update with CHAP. 4 as soon as I finish this prison sentence. Oh, and CONGRATS BTR ON WINNING THE KCA BLIMP! IT TOOK 2 YEARS BUT WE DID IT, RUSHERS! Loll...anyways, Chapter 3. *evil smile***

**Warning: Traumatic accident, depression, angst, TRIGGER WARNING**

**Disclaimer: I will never own BTR outside of my mind.**

The sky was growing lighter with every passing hour. Most of the news crews were still milling around the accident scene, waiting to see the other two boys get pulled from the wreckage. Kendall was starting to get anxious, and being paralyzed wasn't helping. He wanted to help. He had to get his friends out of that car. Even though he couldn't move, he could still feel Logan's hand on his. The light yet nervous touch was somewhat calming to the tall blond boy. Kendall sighed, wincing at the pain in his shoulder as the glass dug into his shoulder muscles.

Next to him, Logan was whimpering softly, crying out as more glass was extracted from his body. The EMTs promised Kendall that they would work on his shoulder after Logan, because glass embedded in your chest is more urgent than your shoulder. Every scream tore at Kendall's heart. He would feel Logan's grip grow tighter with every chunk they pulled out. Soon, all of the shards were out and Logan was ready to be cleaned up. Kendall didn't think it would hurt that bad. His hand said otherwise. Whatever they were using was clearly putting the short brunet through a lot of pain.

"Stop! Can't you see it's hurting him? Please, stop!" Kendall screamed at the paramedics for hurting his little brother.

A paramedic put his hands on Kendall's arms and held him to the stretcher. "Listen to me. It hurts because it's getting rid of an infection. Do you want him to die from an infection?"

Kendall fell silent when he heard that Logan would die without the antiseptic. He sat there helplessly and watched as his friends' face contorted with pain. He wanted to hold the sobbing boy in his strong arms like he always did and tell him everything was going to be ok. But he couldn't do that. No matter how hard he tried to lift his arm or squeeze Logan's hand in reassurance, nothing was happening to his muscles. Kendall was stuck and he wasn't getting out until he got to a hospital.

Logan was finally in the clear from the glass embedded in his torso. He still had to go to the emergency room for x-rays and other tests, but for now, there was nothing more they could do to help him. So, the first thing he did was sit by Kendall's side, holding his hand while the EMTs prepared to remove the glass from his shoulder. Logan was almost thankful Kendall couldn't move after getting a clear view of his shoulder. The skin was torn and there was blood everywhere. Glass shards were embedded into his muscles, and Logan silently thanked Gustavo for making them go through so many workouts. Logan knew instantly by looking that without all the extra muscle, the glass would have torn straight through his shoulder, possible making him lose all use of his right arm for the rest of his life.

Kendall, however, wanted nothing more than to be able to beat the living shit out of the paramedics. Every time they touched the wound, it sent a wave of pain through his body. And when they pulled the glass out of the muscle, it hurt even more. He was thankful to have Logan standing next to him, watching the paramedics' every move. Knowing Logan was watching them made him feel safer because he knew that his brother would never let anyone hurt him.

As they finished pulling out all of the glass, Logan and Kendall heard the best words they had heard since Kendall heard the first group of EMTs. "We've got the car flipped over, we can get the other boys."

Logan squeezed Kendall's hand one more time before running towards the accident. He was stopped by a set of police officers who tried to tell him he wasn't allowed to go near the car. Logan shoved through them, screaming something about his brothers and if they were dead he'd never forgive himself. The cops could tell that Logan was being sincere and let it go. Logan reached the yellow "**POLICE LINE: DO NOT CROSS**" tape and stopped. He could see James and Carlos. And his heart fell.

They were holding onto each other, embracing each other tightly as if they could cling to life together. Carlos' head was still protected by his lucky helmet and was pressed to James' chest. He face looked like that of a Latino angel, soft and round. There wasn't a drop of blood on him, and he looked like he was just sleeping. James on the other hand wasn't as lucky. From where Logan was standing, it looked like James had sacrificed himself for the fragile Latino. The back of his lucky white V-neck was ripped and soaked in his blood. His back was torn and there were massive chunks of glass and some bits of metal embedded into his tissue. His face was badly burned as if someone had put a lighter to it, and Logan noticed that his face would've been right next to the flames from the truck.

Logan ran back to Kendall, unable to deal with the sight. He told Kendall what they looked like. Kendall immediately broke into sobs, screaming at everyone who tried to calm him down. Carlos probably survived, but if James was any worse than what could be seen, he was definitely going to die. And Kendall couldn't deal with that kind of guilt. His sobs slowly began to die down and he was finally calm enough for paramedics to tell him what was going on. They would all be taken to an emergency room and examined. James would be sent into emergency surgery, and Kendall would be examined before going into the operating room.

Just then, Kendall looked away from the EMT and saw James. All he thought was _"That isn't James. It can't be James."_ Logan, sensing his sudden fear, grabbed his hand and looked into his green eyes, which were now bloodshot and a dull green.

"Kendall, listen to me. James and Carlos are going to be ok. You are going to be ok and I am going to be ok. I promise you, nobody is going to die here today. Everybody is going to make it out of here alive."

Kendall smiled lightly before realizing that Logan didn't know about the truck driver. "L..Logan, someone's dead already. The driver of the truck didn't survive. He wasn't wearing a seatbelt and got thrown through his windshield. He burned in the fire and was carried out in a body bag shortly after they pulled me out of the car."

Logan's face fell and he dropped to his knees, screaming and crying. "I didn't kill someone! I couldn't have killed someone!"

Kendall watched his friend breakdown at the side of his gurney and wanted only to hold him and tell him everything was ok. But he couldn't. Not just because he couldn't move, but because at this point, nothing was ok. Logan looked like he had been peppered with buckshot, Kendall was frozen in place, Carlos was unconscious and James looked like he had been target practice for someone throwing glass and metal ninja stars.

Kendall knew that any one of them could have died on impact. They were lucky to still be here. But, they could still die in the hospital. Carlos could be a vegetable for the rest of eternity because he's been brain damaged. James may die because who knows how much blood he lost and how deep the glass goes? Kendall might end up paralyzed or die in surgery. Logan might have internal bleeding and could drown in his own blood.

He knew he was going to the worst cases possible, but they were still highly possible. He suddenly felt himself being lifted and realized they were being put into the ambulances for transport. He sighed as they were packed into the large white trucks. And as the doors closed and the sirens blared above him, he closed his eyes and prayed for strength. Not just for him, but for all of them. He wanted all of them to survive. Even with all the odds against them, they had to make it through this together. No matter what. Now, it was all a waiting game.

**A/N: So, what's going to happen now? And since im technically grounded, who knows when Chapter 4 will be up? That's one plus to being grounded. I can hold you all in suspense for as long as I want… MUAHAHAHAHAHA! Anyways, share this with your friends, your family, brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers, aunts, uncles, cousins, that creepy guy at the store, your neighbors, your dog. Share it with anyone ou want. Or don't share it. You're choice. But if you need me, I'll be grounded and trying not to go psycho being disconnected from ALL technology…God kill me. So yeah, share, review, WAIT IN ANGSTY GOODNESS FOR MY UPDATES! Love Ya ~Nikki**


	4. Emergency Room

**A/N: And welcome to Chapter 4: Emergency Room. This chapter is going to take us into the realm of the emergency room and we are going to see more of James and Carlos in this chapter. Sorry for the wait, again, but I'm grounded, and if you read my other stories, you can see why I'm not fighting my mother on this.. But I love you and as soon as this torture is over, I promise you there will be updates sooner than this. So, yeah. Enjoy.**

**Warning: Same as in previous chapters.**

**Disclaimer: I still don't own BTR. I'll let you know if I do, though. :D**

The ambulance ride wasn't as terrible as Kendall thought it would have been. His shoulder was numb from whatever antiseptic they used on him and he was starting to grow comfortable in his position. Not like he had much of a choice. But still, lying on the gurney wasn't the same torture it was when they were sitting on the highway. Kendall figured it was because Carlos and James were finally safe and headed to the hospital. He felt a soft hand touch his face and he looked into Logan's brown eyes.

"You alright, Kendall? You seriously zoned out." Logan said softly.

Kendall sighed. "Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just worried about James and Carlos."

Logan squeezed his hand reassuringly. "Hey, they are going to be fine."

Before Kendall could respond, and EMT was sitting next to him, prepping something. Kendall looked at Logan for an explanation. He didn't want this guy doing anything to him, especially not in a speeding ambulance.

Almost on cue, the EMT turned to him. "Alright. Kendall, I'm going to anesthetize you here so we can get you right into an operating room. I promise, it isn't painful and you will wake up after the surgery is finished."

Kendall's eyes grew wide and he tried to make his muscles move so he could escape. No such luck. Soon, he felt himself drifting away. The last thing he saw before blacking out was the door of the ambulance swinging open.

Logan watched Kendall get dragged into the operating room, unconscious and paralyzed. Close behind him came Carlos, who was now moving on his gurney. Logan rushed over and stopped the EMTs.

"Is he alright? Are these movements voluntary or are they repercussions of severe brain damage? Did his brain hemorrhage? Is his EKG good? Are his vitals stabilized?" Logan's inner doctor began asking every possible question. He could tell the EMTs were aggravated by his questions, but he also saw shock cross their faces as to why a 16 year old boy knows so much about medicine.

"We can't be sure of anything within his brain until we get some MRIs and some CAT scans done. His vitals and his EKG were perfectly stable. Aside from some whiplash and bruising, the worst he'll probably wake up to is a concussion and a killer headache. As for the other one, we can't be sure of anything."

Logan's face went from calm to shocked and angry. "What do you mean you don't know? How bad is he? Tell me!" Logan had gotten closer to the EMT and was now mere inches from his face.

The EMT placed a gentle but firm hand on Logan's shoulder and gently pushed him away. "Listen here, kid. He's not in good shape. He lost a lot of blood and there is a lot of shrapnel in his body. He probably has internal injuries and brain damage. But we won't know anything until he comes out of surgery."

Logan shoved the hand off his shoulder. "What will they do to him in surgery?," he asked calmly.

"They will remove all the glass and metal from his body and then stitch him up. He will need a skin graft to fix all of the irreparable areas, but after he's healed we will provide plastic surgery if he wants it to cover the large scars he will end up having."

Logan laughed. "I know James and if there is one flaw on his perfect body, he will do anything to get rid of it. Trust me on that."

The EMTs smiled and looked at their watches. "Listen, kid, there is a surgery waiting area where you can go and watch your friends in surgery. You're guardian has been notified of the accident and said she will be here shortly."

Before Logan could respond, they were gone and Logan was left standing in the parking lot alone. He walked into the Emergency Room lobby and was immediately strangled by someone. When the person finally pulled away, he saw it was Mama Knight. He saw that her face was covered in tear tracks and her eyes were bloodshot. Upon seeing her, Logan fell into her arms again and cried. He kept murmuring about how it was his fault and how sorry he was. He told her that he would move out of their apartment if she wanted him to so she wouldn't have to see his face. Mama Knight pulled away and looked at him.

"Logan, sweetheart, it wasn't anybody's fault. You guys got in a freak accident. You didn't force the crash, it just happened. Everything will be ok," Mama K said calmly.

Logan smiled a little bit. "If you don't mind, they told me I could watch James' surgery and I'm going to. I don't want them hurting him."

Mama K just nodded and sat down again, picking up a magazine. Logan headed towards the surgery area and looked down at James from the wall of glass. He could only watch as they pulled massive chunks of glass and steel from his best friends' back. The sight of the debris pile growing was starting to scare Logan. But the scariest part was when James began shaking on the table. Logan held his breath. It wasn't uncommon for trauma victims to suffer from seizures, but for it to happen on a surgery table under anesthesia was very uncommon. It meant that something was seriously wrong with James.

Logan began running through ever scenario in his head. Lead poisoning from the metal, brain hemorrhage, spinal cord damage. None of the options sounded good. And Logan only hoped he was completely wrong and that it wasn't bad. He began pacing quickly, glancing into the operating room occasionally to make sure everything was alright. As soon as he saw James getting pushed into the recovery area, he ran down to the room.

"Is he going to be ok? He had a seizure in the OR, is he alright? Did his brain hemorrhage? Is there something wrong with his nervous system?" Logan was rapidly asking questions and was again silenced by a doctor.

"We think part of his brain was damaged on impact. We have some more tests to run, but for now he has to recover from getting the skin graft. We have to make sure his body doesn't reject the new cells."

The words did nothing to calm Logan's nerves. Without thinking, he raised his fist and punched the doctor in the stomach. He was immediately restrained, but rather than fight, he went limp and cried. The doctor watched silently as Logan dropped to the floor, sobbing hysterically. Without caring, Logan began shouting at the floor. "I killed them. They're all going to die because I wasn't paying attention. It's all my fault!"

The doctor stepped in to help the frantically screaming boy when he was stopped by an announcement on the PA system. "We have a Code Blue in Room 132. Repeat, Code Blue in 132." Logan stopped and fell silent as nurses, doctors and orderlies rushed into the room. He got up and scrambled to the door. He looked inside and screamed. There, on the bed, was Carlos.

**A/N: And a cliffy! If you are someone not like Logan or I and you have no idea what any of those medical things are, I suggest Google. Most of them are simple to get. So, James had a seizure in surgery and Carlos is a Code Blue. What will happen? AHHHHH! I'm sorry for all the cliffys, I just love keeping you readers on edge :D Stay tuned for Chapter 5: Hospital Codes**


	5. Hospital Codes

**A/N: Without further ado, Chapter 5: Hospital Codes. Time to see what happens to all of these poor boys in the ER. *evil smile* And again, these stupid waits are killing me too. But good news is that I managed to write this chapter and Chapter 6: Miracles Happen in the same day, so I can post them close together! Or maybe I'll be mean and wait a day to post Chappie 6. *evil laugh* **

**Warning: Same as Before, with added language. But when you read this, you might understand why there is so much swearing, because you would swear too.**

**Disclaimer: I own NOTHING.**

Logan couldn't do anything but watch as doctors tried frantically to save Carlos. They were trying CPR and using the defibrillator. All Logan could comprehend was that Carlos had flat lined and they were trying to save him. They had to save him. Carlos wasn't even hurt, he couldn't die. Not now, he was only 16. Logan watched, tears filling his eyes and streaming down his face as they kept failing. Logan knew time was running out on his life, so he pushed through all the doctors until he was at Carlos' side. He took the Latinos soft hand in his.

"Listen to me, Carlos. You can't die. You are the bubbly one. You are so full of energy. Use that energy and fight death. You can't leave me. Not yet. I need you, Litos."

Almost as if Logan had shocked his heart, Carlos sat up straight and gasped for air. "What the fucking hell happened? Last thing I remember was getting slammed by that fucking truck.

Logan's eyes grew wide at the vulgar language from the short Hispanic boy. "Carlos, you're alive!" Logan screamed. He fought the urge to smother the boy in a hug in case he had any other injuries.

Carlos smiled widely at Logan. "What's going on? Why are we at a hospital? Is everyone alright?"

Logan took a deep breath before telling Carlos everything from getting pulled out of the ambulance to that moment. When he finished, Carlos broke out into sobs. "They...they can't be dead, Logie. They just can't be dead."

Logan placed a hand on his shoulder. "Everything will be fine, Carlos. I promise." No sooner had the words left his mouth when there was a loud beeping sound down the hallway. "Code Red in Recovery 1, Code Red in Recovery 1!" Carlos and Logan looked right at each other. "James." Logan said quietly before rushing out of the room. He ran to the door of the recovery room and saw James, shaking and coughing up blood onto the pristine white floor.

For what felt like the millionth time since they had arrived at the emergency room, Logan grabbed the nearest medical professional and began asking questions. He didn't know what was going on and it was killing him. He wanted to help, but it seemed like every time something good happened, something worse happened to someone else. Logan silently cursed Murphy's Law for doing this to them. He suddenly felt himself being placed on a bed and restrained.

"What the fucking hell do you people think you're doing to me? That's my brother in there! I can't leave him! He needs me you damn bastards!" Logan was livid and was fighting the restraints that were being tightened around his wrists, chest and legs. He tried so hard to get out, to get to James. But the restraints were too tight, and he soon gave up, giving in to more tears and sobs. He felt something pinch his arm and he looked over to see a nurse giving him a shot. He immediately began freaking out, screaming at the poor nurse.

"Relax, son. This is just a calming sedative so you don't hurt yourself. It won't put you to sleep, but it will make you more relaxed. We can't have you running around in your condition." She said calmly.

Almost immediately, Logan began to relax. "Can…can you please just tell me about my brother? Is he going to be alright?"

The nurse just bowed her head. "I'm sorry, kid. A small piece of glass got into his blood stream and punctured his heart. We are trying everything we can to save him, but it's not looking good. There is blood leaking into his entire chest cavity and it's difficult to get to his heart. His chance of surviving this is extremely low. I'm sorry, son."

Logan lost it. James was going to die. Logan knew in his heart that the only way James could survive having his heart punctured was through a miracle. And Logan could tell their miracles were beginning to run out. They had already gotten two, a third was almost impossible. Logan began shaking, shedding tears that didn't exist. He was hyperventilating and soon felt an oxygen mask get placed on his head. He felt another shot of muscle relaxers and began to feel the effects immediately. Despite the drowsiness, he still tried to get free. If James was going to die, Logan was going to be at his side, apologizing for doing this to him.

Without warning, Logan was suddenly lifted from the bed he had been restrained to. He could hear people talking, but it was all a murmur to him. The one voice he was sure of was Carlos. The Latinos' voice rang clearly through his head, telling him that everything was going to be ok and that he was ok. Part of him felt like he was floating through a dream, while the other part was completely oblivious to everything. He tried to speak back to Carlos, but found himself unable to talk. He couldn't move, either. His internal doctor immediately realized what was going on. They had given him too many muscle relaxers and he was now paralyzed like Kendall. He could feel himself get lowered onto another table and something was placed over his face. He kept breathing, expecting the mask to be oxygen. But he soon realized it wasn't when he began to get drowsy. Logan was going under the knife.

Carlos didn't understand what exactly was happening. He knew he died and was brought back to life because of a severe concussion. He knew that James was dying and had gone back into surgery for his heart. But he didn't know where Kendall was or why Logan was suddenly being taken into a surgery room. He was standing in the hallway, alone and not sure of anything that was happening around him. All he wanted was to go back to the apartment and sleep. But he couldn't because he was suddenly shepherded into a room by a doctor.

"Mr. Garcia, I have to ask you to stay in this room. You have a very severe concussion and we need to monitor you. I will have one of my nurses keep you updated on the statuses of your brothers." The doctor was so calm, it scared Carlos. He did not want anything bad happening to Logan, James or Kendall. The doctor left, closing the door behind him, trapping Carlos in the small white room. The short Hispanic boy began pacing the room, wringing his hands back and forth until they were red. He began to bite his fingernails, chewing them till his fingers were bleeding. He decided not to call a nurse. Instead, the young teen pulled off his shirt and wrapped his raw hands in it, stopping the bleeding his way.

He kept looking at the clock on the wall, and it felt like time was crawling past him. Five minutes felt like 3 hours, and he was starting to get worried. Nobody had told him anything about anyone else. When someone knocked on the door, Carlos screamed. A nurse walked in. "Relax, Carlos. I'm Lisa, your nurse. I've been sent to tell you that Logan is fine. They took him in for detoxification and he's in recovery. He keeps asking for you, and as soon as he's out, I'll take you to see him. Your brother James is still in the operating room. We still don't know if he's going to be alright. As for Kendall…"

The nurse was cut off by a loud siren. Carlos knew from his experience earlier that a siren in the Emergency Room always meant something bad was happening. "We have a man down in Recovery 2. Man down, Recovery 2." Carlos looked at the nurse with wild eyes. The nurse nodded her head as if reading his thoughts. "Kendall's in trouble," was all she had to say before Carlos was running down the hall at full speed. He pushed through people and jumped supply carts, running towards the recovery room where his leader was. He slammed through the door and slid on the floor. He looked down and saw Kendall lying on the floor surrounded by his own vomit. The sight of Kendall unconscious mixed with the rancid smell of bile made Carlos black out. The last thing he heard was "Catch that boy!" before losing his own consciousness.

**A/N: I know, you're all coming after me with torches and pitchforks. Because now we have James dying in surgery, Kendall and Carlos are unconscious on the floor, Logan had to be detoxed and nobody knows what's going on with these guys! Every time someone seems to be fine, another one gets worse. If you wanna review and tell me I'm a horrible person, go ahead. If you show up at my door with a pitchfork, threatening to kill me, I guess that's cool too. But anyway, Chapter 6 is called "Miracles Happen" so maybe we will finally have some good news in this story of darkness.**


	6. Miracles Happen

**A/N: So, you've made it to Chapter 6: Miracles Happen. It's been what, less than 24 hours And I'm still alive, nobody's threatened to kill me yet, so I guess all is going well in my writing world. Now, I have to say that from April 19****th**** to April 24****th****, I will be unavailable for writing or anything because I'm going to be in Disney World for a music workshop. So, you'll have to wait almost a full week for the next chapter, which will probably close to 10 or 11. I have no idea how long this will go on, but I do know where I want it to go. I can promise this: the final chapter will be set in the future. **

**Warning: Same as before :D**

**Disclaimer: For the last time, I DON'T OWN, NOR WILL I EVER OWN BIG TIME RUSH!**

Kendall was so confused when he woke up. He sighed and squinted in the bright white lights that were surrounding him. He wanted to sit up, but he couldn't move. Then he realized he had been rubbing his eyes. His arm was moving. Kendall nearly jumped for joy. He wasn't paralyzed. He reached behind his head and felt the large white bandage covering most of his neck. He carefully sat up, taking care to keep his neck still. When he sat up, he realized that he wasn't alone. Lying in a bed next to him, head wrapped in white gauze, was Carlos. Kendall went to put his legs on the floor only to realize his legs weren't moving. His first reaction was to call a nurse. He slammed his thumb down on the red _Call_ button a hundred times before a nurse came in.

"Yes, Kendall? What can I help you with?" she said calmly.

"Why can't I move my legs? I have to be able to walk." Kendall said frantically. He had to walk again. He couldn't perform in concerts without dancing. It didn't work that way.

Before the nurse could answer, a doctor walked in. "Kendall, I'm Dr. Schertz. You can't walk for now because there was severe damage to the nerves in your legs. But have no worries. With some extensive physical therapy and another surgery or two, you will be walking in a month, maybe two. You should consider yourself very lucky, Kendall. Most paraplegics never regain any movement, even with therapy."

Kendall listened carefully to everything the doctor said. "I understand, sir. But is there anything you can do to make me walk sooner? I'll do anything, undergo any procedure. Please, sir, just make me walk again." Kendall could hear how pathetic he sounded, begging the doctor to fix him. He could feel the tears filling his eyes but he refused to let them fall. He wasn't going to show weakness in front of the doctor.

The doctor placed a reassuring hand on Kendall's shoulder. "I'll see what I can do. No promises, but I will try to help you. Is there anything else you needed?"

Kendall didn't even have to think. "My friends. Are they alright?"

The doctor sighed and pulled a chair to the side of Kendall's bed. "Your friend Carlos is going to be fine. He has a pretty bad concussion. He made it worse when he fainted in your room. He came in after you passed out and fainted. But I don't blame him. If I saw my brother lying unconscious in a pool of vomit I'd faint too."

Kendall tried to remember what had happened. He remembered getting up, feeling nauseous, throwing up and nothing else. "But he's going to be alright?" Kendall asked.

The doctor smiled. "He'll be fine. Your friend Logan has been a mess. He keeps asking about all of you. He has been for the past 3 hours since he got out of surgery."

"Wait, why did Logan go into surgery? Is he alright?" Kendall didn't care that he interrupted, but he was told Logan was clear and didn't need surgery.

The doctor placed another hand on Kendall's shoulder. "His body had a negative reaction to the muscle relaxers we were forced to give him. We had to take him in for detoxification. It was an easy surgery, he was finished in 15 minutes."

Kendall breathed a sigh of relief. Two friends down, one left. "And James?"

The doctor lowered his head slightly. "James isn't looking all that great. He suffered a major concussion, as well as major tissue damage to his back. But that's not the worst. Somehow, a small piece of glass got into his bloodstream and it punctured his heart. He began to drown in his own blood. He was immediately rushed into surgery, and he just got out a few minutes ago. He was in surgery for almost 5 hours. The surgeon did find the puncture and close it, but he lost a lot of blood. Between that and his previous wounds, we've had to give him 6 blood transfusions in the last 20 minutes to get his numbers back up. He's in the Intensive Care Unit in quarantine. Your mother is in there now, watching him through the glass windows of his room. He has a 33 percent chance of surviving this, a 25 percent chance of surviving with minimal repercussions, and a 16 percent chance of needing a heart transplant. I'm sorry, Kendall."

Kendall was in shock. He wasn't a genius, but he was sure that 33 percent was definitely not having the odds in his favor. Kendall turned away from the doctor and cried into his pillow. He felt the doctor stand and heard both the nurse and the doctor leave, shutting the door behind them. As soon as the door shut, Kendall screamed into his pillow. He heard movement and when he looked up, Carlos was above him, mocha eyes full of worry. Kendall threw his arms around Carlos. "I thought you died!" he yelled, pulling Carlos in close.

Carlos softly tousled his blond locks. "Hey, we're all ok. Except for James, but he will be ok. I know he will. We can't be out of miracles yet. Maybe if we wish hard enough, James will be ok. We've already had a lot of miracles today, maybe we can have one more."

Kendall smiled up at his friend. "What do you mean, Carlitos?

Carlos sat on the edge of the bed. "Well, the first miracle was that we all survived the crash. Second miracle was that I was brought back from the dead after I flat lined. Miracle number three is you can move, even if we still have to work on your legs. The fourth miracle is that Logan is perfectly healthy except for the cuts on his chest. So, maybe if we really pray hard enough, we can get just one more miracle to save Jamie. It wouldn't hurt to try, would it, K-Dog?"

Kendall could see the hope in Carlos' eyes. He felt like it wouldn't work, but at the same time something was telling him that trying wouldn't be so bad. "Alright, Carlos. Let's pray really hard for one more miracle to save James." He took both of Carlos' warm hands in his and closed his eyes.

"_Please save James. Please don't let James die. Please let him be ok."_ Together the two teenagers whispered, putting every ounce of hope and strength they could into saving James. All they wanted was their friend back. They heard a knock on their door, and when it opened, Logan was standing there, tears in his eyes. In seconds, all three boys were holding each other, crying and hugging and talking all at once. They shared what information they had with each other and came to the conclusion that they were all safe, now all they needed was James.

The boys all gathered on Kendall's bed, and again began praying for James. They only wanted him to be ok. They weren't praying for some Divine miracle, just enough of a miracle to keep him alive. They prayed for what felt like hours. Nobody moved, nobody spoke. They silently prayed. After almost an hour, they slowly began to give up hope that they would get another miracle. "I guess we've just run out of emergency miracles," Carlos said, sniffing back tears. The other two boys wrapped their arms around the now crying Latino and tried to comfort him. But how do you comfort someone who's losing their best friend?

The three boys sat like that for an hour, taking turns crying and comforting. They had been through so many traumas in the last 14 hours that it felt good to let out all their tears and frustrations. After an hour, there was a knock on their door. Without bothering to look, Kendall told them to come in. They heard someone come in and then heard the door shut. They didn't bother looking at their guest, because they assumed it was just another doctor, there to run more tests or give them more bad news. Kendall felt a large hand touch his shoulder. The hand was warm and felt very familiar. But there was no way it was him.

Kendall shook his head carefully, wiping away his hope. James was lying in Intensive Care, slowly dying because of one stupid piece of glass. There was no way he was healed enough to even move, so he could forget about walking across the hospital to see them. He still felt that familiar warmth from the hand that was so entirely James, he had to look. Kendall slowly picked his head up and turned to see who was still touching him. He shrieked.

"J...James? Is it really you? You're…you're supposed to be in the ICU, not...not here." Kendall couldn't believe his eyes. James was sitting next to him, in a wheel chair. His entire body was wrapped in thick white bandages, casts and he was hooked up to at least eight different machines, one which was breathing for him and another which was giving him another blood transfusion. James had his eyes open, even though they were dull and bloodshot. He wasn't talking. He was like a zombie. Kendall reached out to touch him, and James vanished into thin air.

Kendall screamed and opened his eyes. He saw Carlos and Logan staring at him, eyes wide with fright. "Kendall, James isn't here. He's still in the ICU. You were imagining James. The doctor came in not too long ago and said the steroids and blood transfusions are working. James' body is healing itself. He's getting better. Miracles do happen," Logan said, tears of joy filling his eyes. Kendall immediately began crying and all three got into a close hug.

Kendall looked at his two healthy brothers. "Miracles happen, but we aren't out of the woods yet."

**A/N: JAMES WAS A DREAM! How many of you actually thought James was there? Be honest. You know you did. But everybody is ok, and James is responding to the medicine and transfusions. But are they out of the woods, or is there still work to be done and injuries to heal? Find out in Chapter 7: Intensive Care.**


	7. Physical Therapy

**A/N: Welcome to Chapter 7: Physical Therapy. So, this chapter is set the next day. Logan, Carlos and Kendall are in Kendall's physical therapy session. And don't worry, for now nothing bad will happen to the other 3. For now. So, what happens when Kendall is put through therapy? WHAT IS THIS INSANITY? Ugh, so again, I'm loaded with school work again so IDK when Chapter 8 will exist. Chapter 8 will be about James in the ICU and the guys seeing him for the first time….school has me all disheveled….anyway, Chapter 7:Physical Therapy. And I'm so sorry for making you guys wait so long, I've been grounded and all this drama…and I leave on Thursday for DISNEY, so IDK what's gonna happen…but I'm not abandoning you and I will keep writing, I swear, it's just going to take a long time. And I'm sorry it's super short. I was really pressed for time on this one.**

**Warning/Disclaimer: Everything stated in previous chapters.**

Kendall hated physical therapy. It was long, boring and painful. He was thankful Carlos and Logan came with him, because this first session was so painful he was crying.

"Hey, don't think of the now, think about the future when we are all dancing on stage again in front of all our fans," Logan said. He was on Kendall's left side, squeezing his hand as the therapist tried to get Kendall to stand up. Putting any weight on his legs was killing Kendall, and Logan was, for the millionth time in two days, completely unable to help his big brother. Carlos, on the other hand, was trying his best to help the now sobbing Kendall. The short Latino was trying to support all of Kendall's weight on his fragile frame, despite the constant warnings from the therapist.

"Mr. Garcia, if I have to ask you one more time to leave Mr. Knight alone I will have you removed. Am I clear now?" The therapist was glaring at Carlos, hoping he would understand. Carlos carefully let go of the blond boy and stepped back, still holding his hand. He almost lost his best friend once, he wasn't about to risk it again. He only wanted to help Kendall, not hurt him. He used his free hand to wipe away the few tears that had slipped from his mocha eyes. Logan looked over at his friend and wished he could help the teen. He silently cursed himself for getting into the accident in the first place. If had just ignored his friends and had focused on his driving, they would be in the studio recording instead of lying around a hospital. And the only reason he and Carlos were still there is because they refused to leave without at least Kendall.

The doctors had told Carlos and Logan that they were well enough to leave and that they could return to see their friends during regular hospital hours only. Logan and Carlos refused, saying that they weren't going anywhere without Kendall with them.

So now they're all in physical therapy, trying to get Kendall to put any weight on his legs. But every time he tried, the blond would scream out in pain and lift his body off the floor. He wanted nothing more than to crawl back into his hospital bed, turn on the hockey game and sleep. But no, he had to come to therapy. Twice a day, for an hour each time. And he hated every single minute of it.

"I don't see the point of doing this. I'm not going to…_damn it_…walk right away…_ow_…and this is…._fuck_….painful." Kendall was wincing and trying his best not to cry in front of his friends. He felt two hands grab his shoulders and he saw both Carlos and Logan holding him.

"We're going to get through this, K-Dog. Together. Because we're a team," Carlos said. Kendall didn't have to look at his friend to know he was crying silently. The accident hit them all hard, but it affected Carlos and Logan the most emotionally. Logan was being forced to deal with all the guilt of being the driver and Kendall could see the pure pain in his eyes every time he looked at Kendall or Carlos. Carlos had the guilt of knowing James sacrificed himself for the young Latino. Kendall knew that burden had to be weighing heavily on the boy. He was usually full of energy and always positive. Now, he was quiet and reserved, a sure sign he was beating himself on the inside about James.

"When can we go see James? I want to see James," Kendall asked his therapist. The young therapist smiled.

"I've been told that you are allowed to see Mr. Diamond after this session. Your nurse will escort the three of you to the Intensive Care Unit."

"We want to leave now, please," Logan pleaded. He hoped the nurse had a heart and would realize that all they wanted was to make sure their best friend was still alive, even if it was because of machines.

The nurse smiled. "You're dismissed for the day. I'll call the nurse to come and get you." All three boys smiled as the nurse gently placed Kendall in his wheelchair. Within minutes, Kendall's regular nurse was there, and soon they were headed for the ICU. The walk there seemed to last hours, and all three boys grew more nervous as they got closer. They finally reached the large white doors. The red "ICU" letters were warning enough that behind those doors was something terrifying. The three boys read the sign carefully.

_**Central Los Angeles Intensive Care Unit**_

_**Only one person allowed into a room at a time.**_

_**All persons must wear surgical masks and gloves at all times.**_

_**No food or drink.**_

_**Visiting Hours: 8 AM-10PM. No visitors from Noon-1 PM or from 5 PM-6PM.**_

Kendall took a deep breath. "Well, this is it. Who wants to go first?" The three boys looked at each other, silently begging the other to go first. Finally, the silence was broken.

"I'll go first." Logan took his phone and everything out of his pockets and walked over to the steel door. He pulled on a pair of gloves and slid the surgical mask over his pale face as he pressed the button to unlock the doors. The door swung open and Logan stepped inside, the large door slamming shut behind him.

**A/N: More apologies. Ok, so I've been dealing with my Satan mother drama for two whole weeks which is why updates aren't really happening. I'm going to start Chapter 8 soon, but it won't be up for a while because I will be in Disney from Thursday until next Tuesday. But to compensate, Chapter 8 is gonna be really long because it's in 3 parts: Logan, Carlos and Kendall. Each one of them will have their turn to see James and each one of them will have their own stories to tell. So, that is that. And on a total tangent, I want to say something about cyberbullying. Seriously, this shit has to stop. Every mean thing you have ever said to anybody on Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr and even Myspace stays there forever. And that includes posting a rude comment about a singer or whatever on a YouTube video. Even if you delete it, the person already read it and they know what it said. So many kids have committed suicide because of cyberbullying. This HAS TO STOP. So, I just want to say this: if you see a hateful comment anywhere on the web, report it. Please. **


	8. Last to Meet, First to Visit

**A/N: The long awaited Chapter 8. I changed my mind. Instead of a three-part Chapter, this will be the Jagan. Each boy is going to have his own chapter with a different memory of James. Logan first, then Carlos and finally Kendall. **

**Warning: This chapter will be emotional. **

Logan didn't like the Intensive Care section of the hospital. All the rooms had huge windows so nurses could monitor the patients and Logan was getting freaked out. Patients were lying on bed with half their faces missing, limbs severed off and some were just lying there, staring into space as if they had no reason left to live. Logan shuddered involuntarily, realizing that James probably looked like that.

Logan made his way towards the nurses' station. As he walked, he was surrounded by the multitude of sounds from the various machines in the ICU. Computers, EKGs, pacemakers and dozens of other machines were making Logan's heart speed up. He took a few deep breaths and approached a nurse. "I'm here for James Diamond" he said through the surgical mask.

The nurse looked up at him and smiled. "Room 143. Are you ok, you look like you've seen a ghost?"

Logan swallowed the lump in his throat. "I'm fine. Just terrified. I've never been in an Intensive Care unit."

The young nurse smiled. "It's not that terrifying once you've gotten used to it."

Logan smiled and began walking towards a room. He looked at the number '162' on the door and realized he needed to backtrack. He began walking back, carefully reading each number. He finally reached the room James was in and gasped softly.

Injured James looked nothing like the normal James that Logan was used to seeing. This James was half bald, pale and covered in huge scars. He was hooked up to 3 IV lines, an EKG, a heart monitor, a breathing machine and wasn't moving. Logan silently entered the room and sat next to his broken friend.

Logan couldn't stop the tears that began to silently fall as he gently touched James' hand. The tallest member looked so frail Logan was afraid that one wrong move would just shatter him into a million pieces. He picked up the doctors' clipboard from the bedside table and read through it, quickly making sense of all the medical terminology.

_**Third degree burns, back and face- Large skin graft applied, patient responding well.**_

_**Open Heart Removal, patient very unstable, seizure on table possible prognosis brain hemorrhage.**_

_**Three fractured ribs, fractured wrist, broken vertebrae and severe concussion.**_

_**Patient stabilized on EKG, HRM, oxygen and IV of 200 mg Sodium Chloride, 600 mg Glucose, and 350 mg potassium sulfate.**_

_**Medications: .5 mg morphine drip, 200 mg acetaminophen, 100 mg antihistamine.**_

The list made Logan cringe with every word. He knew James was in bad shape, but the list made him seem so much worse. Just the drugs and machines were enough to let anybody know James was not in very good shape.

Logan looked back at James' pale face and brushed a few stray strands of hair off his face. Logan took a deep breath, closed his eyes and tried to pretend that James was just sleeping. He was sleeping and would wake up and everything would be back to the way it was three days ago.

But when he opened his eyes again, nothing had changed. Logan looked at his friend and remembered the first time they had met.

_Flashback_

_Logan Mitchell was 8. It was his first day of school in Sherwood, Minnesota. He had just moved from New York with his mom and the year was already half over. He was terrified of leaving his mom and hid behind her as she spoke with his new teacher._

_His mom tried to leave and he was ready to cry when a boy walked up to him. "Hi. I'm James. James Diamond. Someday I'm gonna be famous." Logan looked at the boy oddly. He was slightly taller than Logan by a few inches and has long hair. He was holding a comb. "I'm Logan. Logan Mitchell. I'm going to be a doctor when I grow up so I can cure cancer."_

_James smiled. "Well, Logan, that sounds cool. Want to come and draw with me and my friends?" Logan smiled shyly. "Umm…sure." He followed James over to two other boys. Within minutes all four boys were friends. James looked at Logan. "Why do you wanna be a doctor, Logie?"_

_Logan's smile faded and tears pricked his eyes. "Because I just lost my daddy to cancer. I don't want anybody else to not have a mommy or daddy." He sniffed and one tear rolled down his youthful face. Another student saw and started picking on Logan, which only made him cry more. James hated seeing his new friend cry so he stood in front of him defensively. "Get away from him or else." James wasn't kidding, either, because the kid took one step towards Logan and James shattered his nose with one punch._

_From then on, nobody messed with Logan Mitchell or James Diamond. Even into high school James was Logan's protector. James ended up being over six feet tall and massively built while Logan was only 5'4" and still very petit. Logan was also a nerd and got bullied and no matter what James was always there to protect him from the bullies, and it continued even after they moved to LA._

Logan smiled at his memories of James and found that he had been holding James' hand. He smiled and lightly ran the pad of his thumb over the soft skin of James' hand. Logan made a mental note to bring James' Cuda hand lotion next time. Because if…no, when, James woke up he'd be super pissed at him and the others for letting his hands get all dried out and rough. He smiled and laughed at the mental image of James lying in a hospital bed, hooked up to machines and complaining about his dry and rough hands.

There was a soft knock at the door. "Mr. Mitchell, your time is up. I'm sorry, you'll have to return tomorrow." He turned around and saw the same nurse who had helped him before. "I understand." He stood up and placed a light kiss to James' forehead and moved a few stray hairs before wiping a few stray tears from his cheeks. He smiled shyly at the nurse as she walked him back to the doors. "I really hope he gets better. He seems like a nice person who has amazing friends."

Logan smiled. "Thanks. I know I'll be back tomorrow but I'm going to send my brother Carlos in now." The young nurse smiled. "Of course. I'll take him to James." She pressed a button and the door swung open and Logan walked out. The door shut behind him and he looked at Kendall and Carlos who were watching him with expectant eyes.

"He doesn't look good, guys. The charts say he's responding well to the skin graft but he's on so many meds and life support machines that it's hard to tell how good he really is. But he's smiling, even with all the noise." Kendall and Carlos smiled weakly and Carlos stood up. "Alright, I'll go." Logan and Kendall hugged the Latino as he pressed the little red button and the door swung open.

**A/N: Ok, I know this is way overdue and I'm sorry. I know this is also short and crappy and I apologize for that as well. Now, this is important! On my profile is a poll that I really need all of you to answer because it determines the fate of this story. I have two story arcs in mind, one for Kogan and one for Kames. The Kogan is the original and the Kames one is one I just thought of that is more fluffy than the Kogan. I want to know what you all think so please respond. It will be open until next Wednesday, July 25****th****. That's it for now. Love ya~ Nikki**


	9. The Day You Saved Me

**A/N: Before you all kill me for taking forever to upload this I can explain. It took me so long because I was too busy earning money for my BIG TIME RUSH TICKETS! Yes, I finally made it to a BTR concert. I'm going to post a link to my YouTube channel where you can see my videos of the concert. I wasn't sitting in the best seats but during 'Halfway There' I joined the mass mosh pit right in front of the guys who were singing on boxes feet away from us. During this time, I got a high five from Logan, grabbed Carlos' **_**HUGE**_** Bicep and I got to touch James's hair. I smelled like James freaking Maslow for 2 days. He smells like Old Spice, sweat and something totally James. And his hair really is soft. It was the softest hair I've ever felt and I was literally hyperventilating the whole time. So that's why I was taking so long to update, plus I was travelling around with my family. Anyways, chapter 9 for you all, in time (kinda) for the 23rd birthday of SIR LOGAN HENDERSON, and yes, I realize this is the Jarlos chapter for Logan's birthday. Oh and this is totally unrelated to this chapter and this story, but if you didn't get the chance to go to the Summer Tour, Logan's favorite line to say about 4 or 5 songs in is "It's Getting HOT in here!" and naturally everyone yelled back "SO TAKE OFF ALL YOUR CLOTHES!" and they almost did :D Anyways, you can read now. I'm done.**

Everything that happened between the doorway into the ICU and getting to James' side was a blur to the young Latino. He only remembered walking into James' room and collapsing on the floor in tears. He heard the door shut behind him and he crawled over to the side of the bed.

"James, buddy, I don't know if you can hear me. But I really want to say thank you. You...you saved me. J..Just like be…before." Carlos' voice cracked and he cried into James' shoulder, the sobs wracking his tiny body. He sat up and wiped his tears off his face and stroked his injured friend's hand.

"You know, I still remember the last time you saved my life." Carlos pressed his cheek to James' chest and listened to the heart beating below it as he lost himself in the memory.

_Flashback _

_Sherwood, Minnesota. It was mid-January and the four young hockey players were getting in some ice time on the frozen lake._

"_Guys, I really don't think this is safe." Logan said, cautiously moving across the frozen surface. _

"_Logan, stop worrying so much and get out here. We are waiting for you," said Carlos as he skated in circles, waiting for his cautious friend to reach them._

_Logan finally reached them and they began a two-on-two game of hockey. After a few minutes, they were getting tired so they decided to get a drink. Carlos, however, stayed on the ice, skating in all directions. He was over the center of the lake when there was a sickening cracking sound below him. He froze, paralyzed with fear. _

"_Get down slowly and slide towards the shore!" Logan shouted, desperate to get his friend off the ice that threatened to swallow him whole. Carlos slowly knelt down on the frozen surface, glad when the cracking sound lessened. But as soon as he put weight on his hands, the ice gave. Carlos was plummeted into the frigid water. He couldn't catch his breath and ever muscle in his body was stiff and constricted. He thrashed around, desperately trying to keep his head above water. His friends stood on the shore, frozen in shock as they tried to figure out what to do. _

_James was the first to act. He began stripping off his clothes and tossing them onto the bench they had been sitting on. "Are you nuts?" Kendall asked him James looked at him with a determined stare. "I'm not nuts. I'll need those when I get back." Before Kendall or Logan could say anything, James took off across the ice as Carlos slipped into the icy black water. James immediately dove in, shuddering at the cold. He opened his eyes, desperately searching for his best bud. _

_James resurfaced, gasping for air. The temperature of the water was making it difficult to breathe and he needed to find Carlos. He took another deep breath before disappearing again. He dove deeper and kept looking until he finally found Carlos, still moving and twitching. He grabbed the young Latino and dragged him back out. The brunet hauled both of their bodies up onto the ice and dragged him to shore. He immediately began stripping the shorter boy of his wet clothing to warm his body. When Carlos was stripped to his boxers, James began furiously performing CPR to get his blood flowing again. He would do sets of compressions and then rub his body furiously with his own shirt to warm him up._

_After 10 minutes of this, Carlos sputtered awake, coughing up water as the bystanders that had gathered cheered for him. James hugged Carlos tightly and began piling his own dry clothes onto Carlos, drowning him in the fabrics. _

"_James. James, relax. I'm alright buddy. You need some clothes too." Carlos tossed two of the hooded sweatshirts back to James, who graciously accepted them as his body began convulsing in the cold. An ambulance arrived to take the boys to the hospital, where they were to be treated for frost bite. The whole ride the boys were hugging each other, and Carlos was constantly thanking James for saving his life._

"_Anytime, buddy. I'd save you any time."_

_End Flashback_

Carlos awoke with a start to the feeling of a hand on his shoulder. A doctor was standing over him, looking very unamused. "Son, you have to leave now. You can return tomorrow to see Mr. Diamond." Carlos grabbed onto James' hand. "You saved me that day in Minnesota, James, and now I'm going to do whatever I can to try and save you." Carlos pressed a feathery kiss to James' temple before slipping past the doctor. He headed for the exit with an air of determination as well as a gleam in his eye.

**A/N: Sorry it's short, it's really a filler for what is going to happen next. Next chapter is Kames and something HUGE is gonna happen that will alter this story. Then, anywhere from 2-3 chapters of storyline and possibly an epilogue. So, this story is drawing to its close, but what happens next chapter might just shock your socks off. :D **


	10. The End of Everything We've Ever KNown

**A/N: Chapter 10. Kames time. This is the moment you've all been waiting for. This is the turning point. This chapter decides the fate of not only the story but about James' life and the future of Big Time Rush. And you are all at the mercy of my clearly demented muse. :) Anyways, Chapter 10 for y'all. And my friend mentioned this to me the other day when I had her read this story that James' room number is 143 which is the numerical value of 'I love you'. Just thought I share that lil tidbit with ya. ok, im done blabbing. You can read peacefully now :)**

Kendall walked into James' room holding back the tears. It was so hard for Kendall to see one of his brothers in that much pain. James had always been so cheerful, so lively. He had small qualities of all of them. He had the energy of Carlos, the drive of Logan and the heart of Kendall. He had their best qualities and his own model looks. He was the perfect person, inside and out.

Kendall grabbed the chair and pulled it up to James' side. He instinctively placed a hand on James' forehead and smiled as he felt the pulse in the pretty boys' temple. That meant he was still alive, he was still fighting back. Kendall leaned in and rested his head on James' shoulder, his blond hair falling gently across James' neck and his own face, masking the tears that were now soaking through James' shirt.

"I'll always remember the promise we made to each other when we were 5," he whispered, nuzzling his best friends' neck.

_Flashback Time_

_Kendall Knight was five years old and starting school for the first time. He was terrified of starting, but not because it meant being on his own. He was afraid of leaving his mother and new baby sister, Katie, home alone with his father. Kendall didn't understand why his daddy was always so angry at them. His daddy would yell and scream and hit him for no reason, blaming him for things that Kendall didn't even do. _

_Kendall walked towards the door, tugging the sleeves of his hoodie down to cover the bruises on his wrists. He made a quick check of his clothes to make sure he was hiding all the bruises. He took a deep breath and walked into the room. He was shivering slightly because he had to walk to school. He strod inside the doorway, looking lost and lonely. He was still standing there when another young boy walked over to him. _

_"Hi. I'm James. James Diamond. You have a cool shirt." Kendall looked eye to eye with a little brunet who looked like he could be a model already. He had long, soft hair and bright hazel eyes. Kendall's emerald eyes lit up. _

_"Thanks. I'm Kendall, Kendall Knight." James smiled. "Wanna go play?" Kendall grinned and nodded before the two of them ran off the play with the monster trucks._

_Weeks passed and the two young boys became almost inseparable. Then, Kendall's worst fear came true. It was unusually hot for late September and Kendall was sweating in his hoodie. He wanted to take it off, but he just couldn't. Last night the beating was one of the worst Kendall had ever dealt with. The bruises covered almost every inch of his pale skin and he couldn't risk anybody finding out._

_"Kendall, dude, you don't look so good. You should take off the sweatshirt'" James said, concern dripping from his words. Kendall shook his head, sweat beading off of his hair. "I'm fine."_

_James looked at the blond's flushed face and frowned. "I'll tell the teacher."_

_Kendall's face paled. "Fine." He sighed and began to pull off his sweatshirt. As he did so, his shirt rode up, exposing his vast collection of bruises. It was James's turn to go pale. "Kendall...what happened to you?"_

_Kendall turned to him, tears in his eyes. "My...my dad. He...he beats me sometimes. He hits my mommy sometimes, too. That's why I've never invited you over. I didn't want you getting hurt. Please, promise me you won't tell. Promise me, Jamie!" the young blond was practically begging James for secrecy and his tears were flowing fast down his face. The taller boy cradled the broken boy to his chest. _

_"Kendall Knight, I promise that from now on I will do anything to keep you safe. I__**WILL**____take this secret to the grave, and I will always protect you."_

_Kendall looked up into the warm hazel eyes. "Forever?" James smiled down at him. "Forever and ever."_

_Kendall smiled and pressed himself into James' chest. "And I will always protect you and keep you safe, no matter what happens."_

_End Flashback_

Kendall had moved and was now lying over James' chest in an almost protective fashion. It was like he was trying to shield James from the hospital. Then, without any warning to James or to himself, he leaned up and planted a feather light kiss on James' pale lips. Even sick and lying in a hospital bed, James still tasted like cherry Chapstick.

Kendall pulled away, embarrassed about what he just did. He had liked James for months now, but was always too scared to act on his feelings. Seeing his friend helpless in a hospital bed seemed like the best time to come out (pun intended) and say it.

"James, buddy, I know that you probably can't hear me but I love you. Not just as my brother, but in a romantic way. James, I love you and I know you won't feel the same way but I had to tell you. You can hate me all you want, you can never talk to me again if that will make you happy. Just, please don't give up on fighting this. You have to live, not just for me, but for everyone. Logan, Carlos, Katie, mom and all of our Rushers. Even if you don't want to live for me, live for them."

Kendall placed his face down and sobbed, fingers intertwined with James'. He couldn't stand the thought of James dying here, in this bed. He needed James to live, even if he did hate him. He heard movement in the room and looked up to see who was there. He was surprised to find nobody there. "Great, now I'm hearing things."

He heard it again. He stood up and walked over to the window, trying to see if there was something outside that could be making the sounds he was convinced were in his imagination.

"I...l-love...you...too." Kendall whipped around, not believing what he heard. He rushed back to James. "James, James can you hear me? or am I going insane?" Kendall was sure he just heard James talk. Or he thought it was just his own mind, telling him exactly what he wanted to hear. Kendall stared at James. "Come on, Jamie. Talk to me again."

Kendall sat there for what felt like hours, waiting for James to talk. He was starting to give up hope when he felt James squeeze his hand. "I...love...you." Kendall knew he wasn't going crazy this time. He smiled from ear to ear and looked at James' face. James opened his eyes slowly and blinked in the bright lights.

"Oh my God, James you're alive!" Kendall practically screamed and threw his arms around James and hugged him. "Wa..water," James croaked and Kendall quickly poured a small amount and slowly poured it into his mouth. James smiled and coughed a little to clear his throat. "Dude, are you ok? You look like a mess."

Kendall smiled. "I am, dude. We are all a little messed up." James frowned. "What exactly happened? Last thing I can clearly remember is watching the headlights coming towards us and throwing myself over Carlos to shield him." Kendall launched into the story, telling him every single detail of what had happened since the impact. By the time he finished, James was in tears.

"I'm so sorry, dude. I can't even begin to imagine what has been going through your thoughts these last two or three weeks or whatever. I feel like I've been sleeping. But all this stuff is wrong with me? Really? Am I going to live?"

Kendall smiled. "Three hours ago, we were convinced that you would never wake up. And the doctors said that if you did, there was a strong chance you wouldn't be the same person you were before the accident. How'd you manage to wake up, anyways?"

James blushed lightly. "When...when I felt you kiss me and say that you loved me. And then that little speech you gave me. Those things made me realize that I needed to come back, I needed to see you again. I couldn't just leave you here. Because I love you too. I've loved you since the day we made that promise to always protect each other. I love you, Kendall Knight, and nobody else." James smiled and pulled Kendal, in for a kiss just as the doctor walked in.

"James Diamond, you're awake. This is surprising and very good." James looked up at the doctor and smiled his mega-watt smile. "Hey doc. Meet my boyfriend, Kendall. Now, when can I get out of here?"

The doctor smiled. "Well, Mr. Diamond, your charts have improved drastically. Your heart rate is stronger, your numbers are up and your back is healing extremely well. We are making arrangements to have you moved out of intensive care this afternoon and into the general hospital. It's almost like your friends healed your body just by being here. Today is nothing short of a miracle."

Kendall smiled and held James' hand. "You're right about that, sir. Today is a day of miracles. For example, I can walk once more, even if it does hurt a little bit. I got my boyfriend back against all odds and he's twenty times better than he was hours ago." Kendall placed a light kiss to the inside of James' wrist.

"I'll go arrange for your transport, Mr. Diamond," said the doctor before he left them alone. As soon as the door shut, the two boys embraced each other, crying tears of happiness. "Everything is finally turning around. Everything we know is changing," Kendall said, his face nuzzled up under James' chin.

James smiled and ran a thumb over his cheek and gasped. "Why are my hands so gross?! Kendall, where is my Cuda hand lotion?!" Kendall chuckled. "Relax, James. Today is the first day any of us have come in to see you. Logan was planning on bringing some to you tomorrow when we came back, but now we won't have to."

Almost on cue, Logan and Carlos piled into the room. Their eyes lit up and they softly dogpiled the bed, laughing and smiling and hugging James. The four boys all crowded onto the bed, happy to finally be together again. They chatted on and on, talking about their own experiences and emotions snce the crash, including the new relationship between James and Kendall. They fell into a comfortable silence, relishing being together again. Logan was the first to break the silence.

"I say we promise never to give up hope on each other. No matter what happens, we always assume the best. Agreed?"

Carlos smiled. "I agree. We can't lose each other." Kendall nodded his head fervently. "Always hope for the best, even in the darkest of times." James was the last to speak. "Hope is the one thing that kept me fighting when I was trapped. It was the one thing in my mind that was tangible. I grabbed it and held on until it brought me back here, with help from Kendall. Never let it go."

All four boys smiled and put their hands into the center, the same way they would before a game or a concert. "Together forever?" Logan asked. "Forever together," they answered before falling into another hug, tears of happiness flowing down their faces and mixing together on the bed sheets below them.

**A/N: How many of you actually thought that James was going to die at the start of this chapter? How many of you thought Kendall was hallucinating? How many of you saw this coming and are just like 'Psht, I saw this coming, you didn't surprise me at all.' Either way, that is that, next chapter will probably be coming to you real soon. But for now, we're gonna keep this groove. BTW, first person to name that song will get a one-shot written for whatever pairing they want, straight or otherwise :D See y'all soon. ~Love Ya, Nikki **


	11. Friends, Nurses and One Crazy Stage Mom

**A/N: Chapter 11 hath arrived. Nobody has guessed the song so I'm gonna put some lyrics in this chapter. If you guess that, you get a one-shot. I'm gonna make the lyrics a little more obvious this time but I'm not giving you the artist. Anyways, this chapter is going to have a lighter, slightly more fluffy context, and Mamma Knight is gonna make her appearance at last. After this, there will be one more main story chapter and then an epilogue chapter, for a total of 13 chapters. And 13 is my lucky number which is why I'm ending it there. Now, on to the chapter! :D**

It had been three days since James had woken up from his coma. He was now in a room with Kendall in the general hospital and he was definitely getting better. His back wasn't as swollen and the staples had been removed the day before. Carlos and Logan had been discharged days ago but refused to leave the room. They ate in the cafeteria, slept in chairs and showered in the bathroom reserved for Kendall and James.

"Are you two ever going to go home? Nobody's been in the apartment for almost 3 weeks now." Kendall stated. He was concerned for the health of both boys, not only because they were essentially living in the hospital but because they weren't getting the exercise their bodies needed.

Logan looked up. "We'll go home when we can all go home together. And I know what you're thinking." Kendall smirked. "Alright Mr. Telepath, what am I thinking?" Logan smiled. "You are worried about our muscles degenerating due to lack of physical exercise."

Kendall sat, stunned. "Lucky guess. But seriously, you and Carlos haven't done anything physical. And if you lose all your muscle mass, Gustavo will personally destroy you. At least James and I have physical therapy. You two have to go to a gym." 

"We don't wanna leave you guys though. We are brothers and we're in this together," Carlos proclaimed proudly, staring out the door at James' cute nurse. 

James smirked. "Still hitting on my nurse, Los? You realize you have no chance with her and she is like 15 years older than you, right?"

Carlos glared. "So what? So far, our lives have been nothing but chances and risk taking. We risked coming out here with Gustavo. We risked becoming best friends. Chances of us surviving the accident were limited. Now look at us, we're four brothers with one of the best jobs on Earth. All of us survived that accident and all of us are healing. My cuts have healed, Logan's bruises have healed. Kendall can move and walk again and soon he'll be back to normal. James, you made the best turnaround. You were nearly dead. You spent hours in surgery; you were in a coma that nobody thought you would ever come out of. Now look at you. You can stand on your own, you are starting to walk, your scars aren't swollen and your hair is growing back." 

The other three teenage boys stared at the young Latino. He was the most connected to his emotions, but none of the other teens imagined an outburst like that. "You're right, C. But she isn't your type," James said softly. It's not that he didn't want Carlos to be happy; he just didn't want his friend's innocent heart to get broken. Just then, the nurse walked in. "I heard everything you guys were saying in here. And sorry to say this, but I'm not interested. My girlfriend and I are really happy together and we just got engaged. Sorry."

The three teens stared at her. "Wait, so you're a lesbian?" Logan asked. The young nurse looked at him. "Yeah and your two best friends are gay for each other. Welcome to the non-censored world." With that, she sauntered out of the room, shaking her hips on purpose. "That went well," said Kendall. He snuggled up closer to James and sighed happily. He was about to close his eyes when he heard his mother. He leapt out of bed just as she walked in.

"Oh my God, my babies! Is everyone alright? What happened? You are in so much trouble…" Jennifer Knight was not a happy camper and was seriously worried. She was speaking so fast the boys lost track of what she was trying to say.

Kendall placed a hand on her shoulder. "Mom. Mom. MOM. Relax, ok? We are all ok." He launched into the story, telling her every detail of what had happened. Mama Knight Fell into her son's chest, crying. Kendall placed an arm around her, pulling her into him. "Relax, mom. **You're just like an angel. You're special. So very special. (*cough* lyrics *cough*)** I knew you'd be waiting for me to get better, so I fought for you. And for Katie."

Kendall's words struck a chord with his mother and she pulled away. I'm so sorry for overreacting. When the news finally reached me, I was so lost. I didn't know what I'd do if any of you boys hadn't survived." She began to tear up again, so all four boys squished her in a bear hug worthy of an award. She pulled out and smiled at her son. "So, when are you going to explain how exactly you and James became an item?"

James and Kendall blushed violently and stuttered over their words. Mrs. Knight smiled and laughed. "Please, you don't have to explain. I love you boys the same way, nothing has changed. Now, Logan and Carlos, we're going home." The two boys in question clutched their chairs.

"We don't wanna leave, Mama K. We want to stay here. We haven't left yet," Logan said quietly. Mama K looked at them. "Then where are you getting the clothes?" Carlos blushed. They have a lost and found pile of clothes left behind by patients. We'd wear something a few days, wash it and grab something else. It works." Mama Knight scowled. "You two boys are coming home long enough for clean clothes and a real shower. No if's and or buts about it. We'll come back as soon as you two are ready."

The boys sighed and rose, saying goodbyes to their brothers. They were herded out the door and disappeared. As soon as they were out of sight, James and Kendall curled up and fell asleep. When they awoke, Carlos, Logan and their mother were all sitting in the room. Logan and Carlos had showered, shaved and now looked like nothing had even happened to them. The two sat up and yawned, grabbing the attention of the other three sitting in the room.

They looked up and began chatting about how bad the apartment smelled from the garbage and dirty laundry that was piled up. The five people sat there for hours, chatting about normal teenage boy things and the newest Palmwoods gossip. Some new girls had moved into the Palmwoods, Bitters actually was worried about them, Camille nearly killed Logan with love and the curly-haired Jennifer actually approached Carlos to ask how he was feeling. The four boys laughed for what seemed like ages, totally forgetting that they were in a hospital. Mama Knight finally insisted that Kendall and James get some sleep and had to drag Carlos and Logan out, after assuring them they would be back.

As they walked out of the room, they could swear they heard Kendall hop into bed with James and tell him that he loved him. The three non-hospitalized people _aww_-ed at the sweet moment before leaving, with Carlos and Logan preparing for their first night's sleep in real beds since the accident. They climbed into the car, holding onto their promises to return first thing in the morning.

**A/N: I know the ending sucked. It really did, I know. So, I made the song lyrics really obvious this time. First person to post in a review what song and artist will get a one-shot written for them. So, I hope you enjoyed :D Also, on my profile I have a poll that I really need answered, so if y'all could go vote on that, I'll love you forever :D Peace Love and Cookies to all :D**


	12. The Light at the End of the Tunnel

**A/N: Before I say anything, I want to congratulate****winterschild11**** for winning my lyric contest. The song was 'Creep' by Radiohead, which is one of my favorite songs EVER. And Kendall's cover of it makes me cry. So, here it is, Chapter 12. After this, there is an epilogue and that will be that. I really want to take a moment right now to thank you, all of you. I've been through some rough patches in my life, especially in the last 18 months or so of my life. And you guys are the people who have stuck with me this whole time, even though I haven't updated in months. I hit a wall and I couldn't bounce back. I was stuck in a dark place and I felt like I was never getting out. But now, through time and strength, I've climbed out of the hole and I'm updating. This is the final chapter of true substance. And I'm gonna say this. I'm about to blow your minds out of the water. I've been running over plot ideas these last 5 months to decide how to end it and I found the perfect way. :D So read on my little Shadows. Yes, Im calling you Shadows now.**

Six weeks. It doesn't seem like a very long time in the context of a year or a decade. But on its own, six weeks seems to drag on forever. Especially when those six weeks were spent moping around a hospital. That's how long James and Kendall had been stuck there. That's how long it had been since the accident that almost took their lives and the lives of Logan and Carlos.

And they were finally going home. Kendall had been released the week before but had opted to remain with his boyfriend for in-patient physical therapy. Sure, it meant more time in the hospital and more extensive physical therapy sessions, but he got to stay with James. But today, that ended. Kendall was packing up James' belongings as the doctor went over his out-patient care with his mom and Logan. 

"James isn't allowed to do any strenuous physical activity for at least four more weeks. Here's an order for his employer stating that he's on medical leave. That also covers the time lost by the other three boys as well. James takes three medications twice a day. One is a pain reliever for his back, one is a steroid to make sure his body stays strong and one is a hormone pill to get his hair growing back. He should take it slowly, but still continue with the therapy sessions twice a week to keep his muscles active. Now, come with me to sign the release forms and you can go freely."

James' doctor smiled and shook James' hand. "I hope the next time I see you in here it's because you're doing charity work and not because you're hurt, Mr. Diamond," the doctor said jokingly. Everybody laughed and the adults left, leaving the boys to finish packing.

"It's weird leaving, but also nice. The nice part is that I can finally sleep in my own bed and be home with my bros. But I am going to miss the constant string of hot nurses walking in and out of my room every hour and when I call for them." James smiled his cocky smile and the other 3 boys groaned. Kendall reached up and rubbed his boyfriends' slightly bald head.

"The upside is that now you aren't quite so bald. There is some fuzz growing up there." Kendall smirked and placed a brief kiss to James' temple. The other boys smiled at each other, glad that they could resume a somewhat normal existence.

"Alright, boys. Let's all get home. I don't know about you, but I am getting sick of being in this hospital," Mama Knight said as she walked into the room. All four boys smiled as Kendall and Logan picked up the two bags of James' stuff and carried them to the waiting van. The four boys crowded into the back half of the van with Logan, James and Carlos in the way back, Kendall in the middle and Mama K was driving.

They hadn't been driving for 10 minutes when all four boys were snoring softly in the back of the car. Mama K looked up into her rearview mirror and smiled. They were finally together again, happy and on the road to recovery. For once, nobody was in critical condition, or was in danger of dying or was even remotely hurt. Sure, James was going to be sore for a while, but he was _alive._ Mama K refocused on the road and was driving through an intersection when she suddenly got slammed by a truck.

Kendall had no idea what was going on. He had been sleeping peacefully when he had been jolted awake by an impact. His mom's car was mangled with another, the car who had run a red light and hit them. Kendall had been wearing a seatbelt so he unbuckled and crawled out of the twisted metal. When he got free, he did a quick check of himself. No blood, nothing felt broken and everything was clear so he didn't have a concussion. Now he had to find the others. He began frantically pulling at the metal, trying to reach his friends.

His mother rushed to him and pulled him from the wreckage. "Shh, shh sweetie. Rescue crews are working on trying to find the guys now. Go see the paramedics and then all we can do is wait." Kendall nodded solemnly. They weren't allowed to die. After everything they had been through these last few weeks, they weren't abandoning him now. Kendall took a water bottle from a paramedic and sat on the ground, staring at the rescue crews.

It felt like hours to Kendall, just sitting there. In reality, it had only been about 15 minutes before one rescue worker called for a stretcher. "We have a person here!" Kendall jumped up and ran over as the EMTs brought over a stretcher.

"We need two more, we found all of them!" Kendall's heart began to race. They had found his brothers. Everything was going to be all right. The paramedics pulled Kendall away from the scene as they pulled the three other boys from the mangled, shredded mess that had been their car.

The boys were taken out and placed on stretchers. They were rushed to the waiting ambulances and Kendall was restrained by police so as not to interfere with their work. After Kendall had calmed down, they released him and he began to pace, eagerly waiting for the paramedics to tell them anything.

One of the paramedics approached his mother and Kendall was once again held back. He watched in almost slow motion as his mother's face went from worried mother to ghastly pale. That's when he knew. He ran to his mom. "What did they say? What's going on?" He was holding his mother's shoulders, praying to every God that he was wrong.

"Kendall…Kendall, they didn't make it. None of them did. I'm…I'm so sorry," she choked out. Kendall collapsed in her arms, sobbing. He didn't want to believe it. They weren't dead. They couldn't be dead. He picked himself up and walked over to a paramedic. "If it's alright, I want to see my friends before you take them away to the morgue. Please." The paramedic led him to where his lifeless friends were lying on stretchers. The man led the other EMTs away to give Kendall the privacy to grieve in private.

Kendall tried to remain composed as he sat between Carlos and Logan. He took their still warm hands in his. "You two will never know what a difference you have made in my life. Logan, you helped me get through school and never got frustrated when I didn't understand. Carlos, you kept me happy. Whenever I was having a bad day, you found some way to make me smile. You two were my little brothers, and I will never forget you." He kissed each hand and carefully placed their hands over their hearts before walking over to James.

"James, you are the only person I will ever love. You were my everything. You supported me when I needed someone to hold me up and you made sure that I was never alone if I needed someone. You wont ever understand how much you truly meant to me. James Diamond, I love you from now until the end of time." He kissed James' clammy lips and slowly climbed onto the stretcher with him, just to feel their bodies next to each other for the last time. He closed his eyes and drifted away.

**A/N: Ladies and gentlemen. That is the final chapter. There will be an epilogue coming soon to just touch up on Kendall's life after this. And since someone will say it, I know this ended rather abruptly and I know that I didn't talk about funerals or anything. And that's because I didn't want to. Writing all of their deaths was depressing enough, I didn't want to add in funerals as well. I hope you enjoyed reading this story as much as I enjoyed writing it. Thank you to all of you who commented, added this to your favorites, subscribed to this story and all that stuff. You guys really do mean the world to me. Keep an eye out for the Epilogue and I will see you guys later. :D**


	13. Thank God Almighty, I'm Free At Last

**A/N: Here is the epilogue I promised you lovely people. This is set in the future. Like, WAYYYYY in the future. After this, the story is OFFICIALLY over. And I did this on purpose because 13 is my dad's lucky number and since he survived everything last year, I figured that it's only right to make this story 13 chapters long. So here is the epilogue.**

Kendall Knight sat back in his chair, staring out of the window. He moved himself slowly back to his bed and sat down. His body was frail, years of hockey injuries had caught up to him. That, and old age. He was turning 96 the next day, and had outlived his little sister who had died at age 72 from leukemia. His mom died when he was 57 from a burst aneurism in her aorta.

So now Kendall was alone, left to his memories. He couldn't walk anymore because all his years of hockey had weakened his ankles. He used his wheelchair to get around, and every day, regardless of the weather he would call the handicapped van to bring him out. He always went to one place and one place only.

He always travelled to the small plot of land reserved for his family and his three best friends. He would sit in his chair and go to the headstones of his mother and sister first, talking to them about his day. Then he moved on to his three brothers.

80 years had passed since they died in that accident. After they died, Kendall quit the performance industry. Without his brothers, the fame meant nothing. They returned to Minnesota where the three young boys were buried and Kendall attempted to move on. He finished high school and went on to college with a hockey scholarship. He was quiet and reserved, studying hard and practicing twice as hard.

He graduated and got drafted to the NHL as a center for the Minnesota Wild. He never married, never had kids. He never had another love after losing James. In fact, he never lost his virginity. He refused to be intimate with anybody because he felt guilty over James' death. He didn't regret telling James how he felt, but he believed that somehow he was at fault for the death of James, Carlos and Logan.

He played hockey for most of his adult life, retiring at 45 years old as a Hall of Fame member with a few Stanley Cups under his belt. He bought a small house and helped care for his mother until her death 12 years later. He adopted a few dogs, all pit bulls to keep him company. He attended the funerals of Gustavo and of Buddha Bob and was made the godfather of Camille's son, Logan James Roberts.

Now, he sits alone at the graves of his friends. All the headstones resonating the same message to him, beneath finely detailed angels: "Chase your dreams and follow your heart." He reached out a pale hand and ran his fingers over the carved names, remembering them at their best. Carlos with his helmet, Logan with his lab coat and James with his comb. They had all been buried with their possessions and what wasn't buried was sold at auction, leaving Kendall with only a few pictures of their lives together.

He turned slowly from the headstones, sending a silent promise to his friends that he would see them the next day. He was taken back to his nursing home and was put into his bed. He ate his dinner, took his medication and settled in for the night. He drifted off into a peaceful sleep, dreaming about his friends.

At 1:43 in the morning, the exact time of his birth 96 years before, he passed away silently in his sleep, clutching one of the pictures he had taken with his friends a few days before they had gotten into the initial crash that sent their lives spiraling away. He was lowered into the ground the next morning between his sister and his one true love. Nobody came to his funeral but his nurse since there was nobody else alive that remembered him. And as the dirt covered his casket, he ran across the Rainbow Bridge to Heaven where his friends were waiting for him, arms open and healthy. Finally, they found peace.

**Closing Note: There's nothing left to say. I've said it all, there's nothing left. Thank you so much for reading, review, favoriting and just being there. **


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